I remember the first moment I actually realized what my faith was about. I was 17, leaving a conference, and I was completely wrecked. During the ride home on the bus, I was asked to share a verse that had changed my heart. I don’t know why I chose this verse (I think I felt panicked and pressured, and I opened up to a page that had some highlighted pink and yellow on it)– I picked my verse, walked up to the front, held the bus microphone in my hand, and shared from Nehemiah: “the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
I had forgotten that moment until just now, to be real. But it’s so amazing how the Father reminds you of seemingly insignificant moments to strengthen you in your present…
Last week, my heart was hollow. I felt lifeless. Going about the daily grind, doing what I had to do to survive, numbing out, checking out, feeling sorry for myself, uncertain as to why I felt like the walking dead. I knew I needed a confrontation with Father, so I stepped into the room with Him. And let me tell you, it had been awhile.
I poured out my heart, blubbering stupidly about how useless and unhappy I felt. “Why do I feel like this?” I asked Him. “I haven’t genuinely laughed in weeks. I can’t go on like this. I feel completely joyless. I fake every smile; what’s wrong with me?”
As I continued my pathetic soliloquy, I burrowed deeper to the root of the matter.
“Father, I have nothing to offer anyone here. What are my gifts? What are my strengths?”
Nehemiah flashed in front of my eyes, and I heard Him say it, loud and clear: “the JOY of the LORD is your strength.”
Wrecked again. That was it.
The source of all my joy is found in Him. I don’t say that to sound spiritual. I say that as an honest, assessed, tested and tried fact. My absence from His Presence had left me detached from the source of all joy; every moment away from Him was a moment that stole away my joy, and I was dying inside.
That reminder was more than enough to push me to my feet. Joy is what the Father gives to us in abundance, despite our circumstances, despite our momentary troubles, and despite our brokenness. We can rest assured that our strength and hope is found right where we left it: in His Presence; the Psalmist said it best: “In His Presence, there is fullness of joy.” (Psalm 16:11)
And friends, we are all called to be a joyful people. In Philippians, Paul reminds us to “Rejoice always.” The season you are in may be joyless, but THE JOY OF THE LORD is in every single, stinking, rotten season of your life. It’s as close as your skin. Be strengthened by it. Because honestly, if you don’t infuse yourself to His joy, you are a walking dead man. Your laugh becomes hollow, your purpose becomes shallow, and your walk becomes weakened.
Perhaps some of you Sunday schoolers recall this happy little ditty:
“I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart; down in my heart; down in my heart to staaaaaaay.”
I really hope I got this stuck in all of your heads. You are welcome.
Also, sorry if that image of my laughter is larger than life itself. It’s sort of intense. But so is the joy of the Lord.