“Why are you sleeping? Watch and pray.” Jesus told the disciples on the night before His crucifixion.
I always wondered at this. Why? Jesus knew what was coming. What did it matter? Was it so wrong to rest when disaster was about to strike? Sleep or wake, who cares?
When the disciples did wake up, they witnessed the destruction of the one they loved the most — their teacher, their friend, their savior. They awoke to their world in complete chaos. They scattered in the mess of His crucifixion. In horror, they watched an event they couldn’t fix or control unfold.
It would have been so much easier if Jesus would have let them sleep to their hearts content, but He insisted that they wake up and watch. Why?
While they watched their world being shattered, they also witnessed the most profound, transformative, earth-shaking, heart-breaking, redemptive acts known in the history of man. They watched our past, present and future being restored through the spilled blood of Christ. This is astounding to me.
They had to see it. The world needed them to suffer the sight of the Lamb slain. They had to be awake. They had to see and know and witness what He did — if they hadn’t, could we have known?
So what’s my point? My point is this: our souls are asleep. We have let life get to us, and we are cowards in a corner, sleeping. We binge our shows, we create our social media presence, we lose ourselves in meaninglessness and people-pleasing, and we seek ease and comfort more than ever; all this, in essence, to avoid pain and reality of a broken world and our broken insides.
I love peace. I long for it inside me, outside of me, and before me. For years, I had been fooling myself into thinking that I had it. After all, my best friend is the Prince of Peace. My Prince, however, has been peeling back the layers of my heart these days. What I believed to be peace, I see, is a soul that is sound asleep. It’s curled up in the fetal position, clutching a pillow with its hands over my ears. It fell asleep drowning out the noises of life. And I’m fine with it. I’m fine with living a sleepy life as long as my inner calm is kept.
But avoiding eye contact with pain does not negate its presence. A Netflix binge won’t soften its stare. A strong social media presence won’t distract it. Attention-getting and people-pleasing won’t shake it loose. Anti-depressants won’t cure it. Pain and suffering will remain. And Jesus wants me to wake up to it? WHY.
I argue this: the suffering we are called to face is not desirable, but it is necessary for this season we are in. Just as the disciples had to witness the agony of His death and triumph of his resurrection, we must see what He is doing in order to bear witness to it. We can’t know what He is doing unless our souls are awake. Like the disciples, we will suffer the pain of being awake. We will see things we don’t want to see. We will hear things that will echo in our memories forever. We will endures aches that nothing can numb out. But we will know. We will know that He is good. We will see that He is greater, we will hear the truth from His lips, sweeter than ever, and we will hold His hand tighter. We will be a people who know their master better because we aren’t afraid to stare into the face of suffering.
“My peace I give to you, my peace I leave with you,” Jesus responds. He promises this to us. His peace surpasses all understanding. In the swirl of conflict and anxiety, He offers us this hope. His peace isn’t unattainable. Why would he offer something that can’t be held onto?
Let’s shake our drowsy little souls awake and remind them that He is coming soon.